My Childhood “Poverty” Story

By Raquel Reyna


 

 

So, every time I failed, every broken relationship or failed leadership attempt…it all led me back to the same story…my childhood… well, my junior year in High School particularly.

No, not really poverty, but poverty-minded.

We were very suburban middle class, but from my perspective…there was truly never enough “comparitively”.

My dad was an optometrist. He had his own offices which would also make him an entrepreneur running two businesses. And as an entrepreneur, sometimes he had cash…but sometimes not.

My mom would sit, over the bills, in her night gown, at the kitchen table slouched over, hands encircling her face, crying. Can you picture that?

We drove old beat up cars and our house…well, let’s just say ’twas the smallest and least kept up one, on the block…

It really bothered me, because quite simply I could never afford the latest jewelry or sunglasses trends. It was the year of the Raybans. It wasn’t exactly teen-friendly timing. Anyway, I presume I can cut out the whole explanation of what it’s like to be a teenager trying to fit in at High School.

LOOKING BACK from my current vista, I did have enough. We were fine. I had gymnastics, plenty of dinners out…but when comparing to my friends…I never had what they had, so I felt poor. 

My socks always had holes in them and when I asked for new stuff, my parents flat out said, “No, we can’t afford it”. So the feelings I had deep down were a real thing and they insidiously remained there as part of my story.

In high school, my dad lost both of his offices. His story was that LensCrafters drove the small guy out of business…I don’t know…this could be true.

Both of my siblings had already gone to college and my Mom was now working full-time as a social worker. At home, it was just me and my dad. My dad was in bed most of the day. He was there when I left for school and there when I came home… still in bed.

I was ashamed and embarrassed for him. About him. I felt my Father’s failure as my own.

See, in high school, I wanted to hide the bizarre behavior of my houseHOLD and just tried my best to smile, act normal, and have an extraordinary, lively high school life. I was the cheerleader. A popular one. I had friends, joy, fun, a baseball player boyfriend…but then coming home to a dad in bed…100lbs over weight, wasn’t too fun for me. I just wasn’t equipped with the right tools, at the time, to properly integrate and process that, with a good result and in a loving manner.

And this time, in my life, although I didn’t know it then, would come to define me and greatly impact my later years like a boomerang…

See, I was daring out of college and in me was a born creative entrepreneur. I really believed in myself. I traveled around the world. Right out of college, I lived in a mansion in Rome for 6 Months. I was shown the good life immediately and I wasn’t afraid to live my dreams…but as success came, trauma would follow.

This inability to hold on to money or success in my later years, even with self-help and spiritual development, would lead me back to my real high school CRUSH, this crushing feeling of poverty consciousness.

I can see now the significant impact it had on me of seeing my dad in bed, his having had two failed businesses, a very problematic binge-eating disorder of some kind, and his untreated, undiagnosed depression and anxiety. This impressionable time in my life was date stamped… an imprinting of my male father figure in failure and I couldn’t find my way out of the pattern.

Sure, I also had successes. Many of them. But after big money and powerful experiences of standing in my own leadership, inevitably it would get crumbled to the ground after some crisis. There were some wacky extremities looking back. Great ups and downs.

Yes, I healed. Yes, I did a lot of processing… years of meditation and a serious, diligent spiritual practice, doing a multitude of healing work and veraciously devouring self-help books and yet I still never quite felt that I had as much success, money, or prestige as the next guy.

I felt deep down that I was poor.

I was the poor kid and my Dad’s failed business venture felt like the first thing on my Resume. I knew I carried that with me, so behind my successes…I felt inadequate.

I learned so many systems and dug so deeply in my quest to discover myself. I would have some break-throughs and years of growth, but something financially shocking would happen and I’d turn around to notice a pile up of debt or another failed business venture and yet, I still believed there had to be a way to fully lift this poverty consciousness once and for all.

I knew there was something that would help and I sought it out with a vigor. I wanted so desperately to be free of this burden and finally step into freedom.

So when I launched my new program and slowly began selling higher end VIP programs to clients, I knew I needed serious support. Because the idea of charging high end prices, which I was guided/coached to do by my mentor, caused me…you guessed it…SHAME.

How do these women entrepreneurs do it so effortlessly? I read their emails…. “make a million a year in yoiur first year”, charging 25k for their mastermind programs. Don’t misunderstand me, I do believe in the ability to bring that level of transformation, as I strive to do for my clients… bringing them that level of valuable intel.

But how do THEY do it so easily?….at least it appeared to me that it was easy for them.

Chances are they didn’t have shameful father figures, they didn’t come from poverty or shocking business loss… no not them… that was me. My cross to bear.

I eventually decided that I would not let the mindset piece be a hindrance any longer.

So I tried everything—I hired everyone!! I used meditation, past life regression… I even had a psychic clear away all of my blocks from the Akashic Records …but I think the thing that actually moved and lifted the energy, was the hypnosis….

As you step into a new dream, there is a gap. A place of void, moving from where you are, to where you want to be. So right after you leap into a new project, such as starting a new biz or beginning your launch, which can welcome back and greenlight your doubt and your limited beliefs to come creep back in, you must have the right tools in place to help guard you against the PANIC and the inenevitable CIRCLE BACK that recreates the same self-sabotaging dynamic that you had sought to escape.

That all to familiar Ground Hog Day sensation of leaping across the chasm from one ledge to another and finding yourself on the same ledge that you thought you’d left.

A mind can be a wonderful thing that allows one to plan, daydream, hypothesize, muse and measure, but it can also be maximum security prison that keeps people stuck in realities they just aren’t satisfied with. 

Now I believe in spiritual awakening, allowing your life to unfold, and being the witness as life takes shape, but I also know that your childhood has a very funny way of defining your reality.

You can imagine a child, who witnessed something traumatic or something too adult for a child to properly process, without having the benefit of a wise guardian, at the time, to help the child understand what it is that they saw or experienced, would record the event with that child’s limited understanding and interpretation. This narrow understanding and interpretation is recorded and protected within the psyche. It does not, without careful examination, evolve with the child’s consciousness. This initial imprint or recording does not get erased, but it can be recorded over with the help of connecting with your inner child and helping them to understand what they saw and experienced. This does not automatically occur, just because you know better now.

So in essence, if you are still struggling with poverty consciousness, of any kind, I recommend a couple of things:

One.

Don’t judge yourself. You have great power within you that beats your heart and pumps your blood and can be used to transform any circumstance. So if you still have a persistent little problem of financial lack, debt, fear, inability to invest or clients that just don’t have enough money… which regularly rears its ugly head…then having a go-to hypnotherapist is an amazing solution!

If you suffer from ‘not enough syndrome’, do yourself a favor, and when you begin the next project, step into abundance and put the hypnosis tapes on a loop and listen repeatedly.

If you are wondering why you can’t sell or get out of a pattern or if poverty follows you, be kind and gentle on yourself…smoothing the deep grooves in your psyche is difficult, disciplined work and can be intense.

Most people never change!! But YOU can!!

My little secret sauce to overriding the ol’ “I’m not enough”, “I can’t make anything happen”, “I don’t make enough to invest”, “my clients never buy my high end VIP programs”, “I am not qualified”, “I can’t get out of my situation”, “I have no money”, “I will never succeed”, “I am not good enough, smart enough, or I don’t know enough”…that I see far too many people still struggle in…is my (shouldn’t be a) secret little go to guy. Yes, my hypnotherapist.

So, if you feel you need more than a mantra, a meditation, or your chakras aligned, and seek some serious brain re-wiring, a new synaptic path out of Dodge, you might need to call in the big guns, because up-leveling your monthly income is serious business and mindset plays a key role in your success! Shifting a paradigm is a full-time job.

If you are curious to check out one of my go to hypnotist experts, my secret weapon to combat self-sabotage, you can check out his video here.

I recommend taking the time to do his work. Don’t allow your poverty consciousness to grab ahold of your success or your business venture again!!

When you are an entrepreneur, you need support, tried and true tools, a daily ritual, and an ability to recognize your strengths and face your weaknesses. It’s tough enough without having your subconscious working against you! Why not give your subconscious the shift it needs and have the proper inner support for your new found success?!!

May 2017 be your year of sustained new growth.

Watch this video now and retrain your brain.

Many blessings!!

Raquel

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  1. Cposer
    Cposer says:

    This was really uplifting! I, too, have a childhood poverty story with self-sabotaging thoughts. I had been thinking about hypnotherapy, but people I mentioned it to were negative. So maybe I’ll take another look at that. Thanks!

  2. CoachEXP
    CoachEXP says:

    Thank you for your feedback! Yes, these seeds are planted in so many of us. There is definitely no overstating the importance of mindset.
    It’s so fundamental in achieving and, probably even moreso, maintaining success.

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